Life? Death?
by Digimagic
Summary: ‘Life: Most cherish it, I hate it. Death: Most fear it, I crave it.’ One white haired teen standing alone on a small bridge has one choice to make, Life or Death? Shounenai , Abuse


A/N: This is your typical angst and depressing fic. PLus to Those of you who were readin my fic 'Hurt Me No More' it got deleted and is now going to be revised and reposted for more informantion on 'MNM' of any of my other fic go to my bio. Thank you.

Warning: Shounen-ai. If you don't like then don't read. Simple, ne?

Disclaimer: If owned Yu-Gi-Oh then trust me it would be most likely be rated R (and that's without the lemons and limes).

Summary: 'Life: Most cherish it, I hate it. Death: Most fear it, I crave it.' One white haired teen standing alone on a small bridge has one choice to make, Life or Death? (Shounen-ai , Abuse)

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

_---Flashbacks---_

_**Life? Death?**_

_**Author: Digimagic**_

**_(still need to be edited by my editor)_**

Life.

Most cherish it, never wanting it to end. Some think they want to end it but they never have the courage. Some end it thinking that this will be the last of everything, thinking that their soul will get to rest not knowing that their soul will never be at rest. Most who end it end up regretting it in their after life, after it's all over. Most can't see why anyone would want to take their own life with their own hands. All people loved their life at one time. All people, even those who took their life, always loved their life even if they didn't acknowledge it. Well, that is all expect me. I hate life…body, heart, and soul.

Death.

Most fear it. I crave it. Most will do anything to avoid it. I'll do anything to bring it upon me. Most try not to acknowledge it. I accept it. Death is apart of me, we are one and the same. My heart craves for relief. My body aches to be put to rest. My soul cries out for the end. I want death to claim me…no…I _need_ death to claim me. To take me away from the pain I've felt for so long. To take away all of my memories. To take away the all of my fear, my worries, my anger, and my sorrow. To let the secrets I hold within my heart die and never to be told. Please, I'm begging you, from down below, take me away from this life I live and let me end it all right now.

Rain pouring and lightning of flashes. The wind is howling and knives of hail pierce the skin. It's the storm of the year. There's not a soul on the streets except for one white haired teen standing alone on a small bridge, over a small river. Tears run down his face but most would just mistake them for rain drops. The teen looks down at the river. He starts to cry harder, knowing full well how far he's been pushed. Knowing what he's about to do and why he's doing it, knowing that he's given up. The feeling of hopelessness gripping his heart, all the pain he's ever felt in his life consuming him. The memories of his past force him to remember what he so longed to forget.

_---A small, white haired child sat on a chair next to his little sister's hospital bed. He didn't know why his little sister had to be in a hospital. He asked his parents, but all he got was a 'She's sick. Now bug off,' from his father and his mother refused to talk to him at all. Since he didn't know what was wrong with his sister he went to the hospital as often as he could. At least it was quiet there, not like at home. His father did nothing but yell and scream (or at least more than normal) at him, his mother, anything. The only time he'd hear his mother speak was when she was yelling back at his father. The boy even tried to ask one of the nurses but they wouldn't say what was wrong. All they said was 'It's nothing you need to worry about.' and that didn't help him at all. Why wouldn't they tell him? He saw his little sister stir awake. She looked at him with her soft, weak, and gentle smile. _

"_Morning, Onii-san 1." her voice was just like her smile. He knew something was not right. He knew something bad was going to happen to Amane. He had no idea how he knew but he just had a feeling about it. Suddenly, Amane started crying. "It hurts, Onii-san!" _

_His eyes widened. What did she mean? It hurts? She was just fine a second ago. A machine started beeping and a bunch of doctors rushed in, ordering each other around. They shoved him out and he just stands there. He had no idea what was going on, but he could tell it was not good. _

"_What's going on?"_

_He tried asking doctors, nurses, who ever was there that could answer him, but they just ignored him. After a while there was continuous beep. All of the doctors stopped rushing and most of them left the room. The boy went back in Amane's room and saw that a sheet had been draped over her. What was going on? What was wrong with Amane? He saws his parents coming, looking very sad. He ran up to them. _

"_Oka-san 2! Otou-san 3! Something's wrong with Amane? What's going on with Imoto-chan 4?"_

_His mother didn't even look at him she just walked by him. He ran up to his father and looked up, his eyes filled with worry. _

"_Otou-san! What's going on with Imoto-chan?"_

_His father growled in annoyance. Then the man said the words that haunted the child for rest of his life. _

"_She's dead, you little brat."_

_His father stormed off towards Amane's room. The boy just stood there. The thing he would always remember was that he didn't even cry. Not one tear.---_

_---It had been about six months since Amane's death and to say things were hard would have been a **massive** understatement. For the past six months his mother had completely ignored him and the only attention he'd gotten from his father had been physical. His parents had been doing nothing but fighting, just screaming at each other. He didn't get it. Why were they fighting? His little sister had just died and they don't even seem to care. He heard the screaming start. They were at it again, every night the same, but no…wait, something was different. He could feel it. It was the same feeling he had when Amane died, like something bad was going to happen. He decided to go down stairs to see what was going on. He got down stairs, peeked into the living room and started listening in to what his parents were yelling about._

"_That's it! I'm tired of this! I'm tired of you and this house! I'm leaving!"_

_What was his mother talking about? Leaving? _

"_Where do you think you're going? What about that brat? You're not leaving that thing here!"_

_Brat? Thing? Did his father mean him? What was going on?_

"_That's exactly what I'm doing! You can have him! Good-Bye!"_

_Then he heard the door slam shut. What was going on? What just happened? Did…did his mother just leave fo…for good? No. She wouldn't leave him, would she? He walked out into the living room._

"_Otou-san? Where did Oka-san go?"_

"_She left."_

"_For how long?"_

"_Don't you get it, you little brat? She left! She's gone! That bitch you call a mother just abandoned you!" _

_His eyes widened. That is when his life went from bad to hell.---_

The teen shivers from the memories. Memories he wishes weren't real. How he longed to have them be just a bad dream! But they aren't, and they'll always be with him. No matter how hard he tries to forget them, they'll always be real. They'll always be there, no matter what. He's seen things that most people will never see in a life time. He's felt things no one should ever feel.

Even before all that happened, he hated his life. His were parents always arguing, screaming at each other. His sister always crying and him never able to. He had to be strong for his little sister and his mother. Never show any weaknesses: that was his unspoken rule. He had to be the strong one. Just take everything in and never let any emotions show… emotions were a weakness…just be quiet, take it all in, and maybe you'll survive.

Heh. 'Emotions are a weakness.' He's heard that one a million times. His father used to say it to him all the time-that is, before he left. But he still hears it all the time. That _is_ his yami's most important rule. Emotions are a weakness and they are never to be shown. His yami is the other reason he's here. His yami has put him through so much pain, but the pain his yami puts him through is more emotional than physical. Yes, of course, his yami beats him, but who close to him hasn't hurt him in one way or another?

Tears continue to cascade down his cheeks. The rain pours down from above and running down his long, soaked white hair. His forearms are on the cement railing of the bridge. His soft brown eyes show sorrow, anger, and most of all, hopelessness. Like an animal that has been kick too many times. Literally.

His mind starts to drift to why he's out here, slowly remembering what had happened not long before now. He had enough. He couldn't take any of it anymore. He could blame it all on his yami but that wouldn't be right. He was thankful to his yami, before him he only cared about his own life but that's different now. His yami changed that, now he doesn't care about his own life. His only concern is his yami and if his yami's wish is the boy's death, then so be it.

_---Suddenly he felt himself hit the wall. Blood was running far his arms, his legs, his head…everywhere. He was struggling to breathe since his yami was choking him. _

"_You're pathetic. You're completely worthless. Why did I have to get stuck with you! Why did you have to be my hikari? WHY YOU!? WHY!? I wish you would just…just DIE!"_

_He snapped. Suddenly he just shoved his yami back and did something he can't believe. He punched his yami right in the face._

"_FINE! You want me dead! You got it!"_

_He ran out, grabbing one of his yami's daggers. And you wan to know what…he cried throughout the whole thing.---_

That's how he got out here. That's why he's going to do what his yami, as well as his body, wishes him to do. He must do to this, he needs to do this. His life holds no important. He looks up at the sky, it was now or never. He puts the dagger to his right wrist and starts to draw back when…

"What the? What in Ra's name are you doing!?"

His eyes widen. What was his yami doing here?

"What do think I'm doing here? I'm doing what you wish. I'm getting rid of myself once and for all."

"Oh really. Why…because life is getting a little too hard for you. Suck it up! You think this is hard! You don't know hard! You're just a weak! You think you've given up, I think you don't even know what you're doing."

'Grrr…' That's it.

"You don't think I know what hard is! You have no idea about what I've been through!" Tears flow more rapidly down his cheeks. His body starts to shake from all of his pent up emotions. "I'm tried of being like this! I'm tried of all the memories! I'm tried of every time I close my eye's I see my little sister laying helplessly on the hospital bed. I'm tried of remembering how my mother abandoned me. I'm tried of remembering how my father treated me. I'm tried of remembering all the pain he put me through, all of the beating, the insults."

The white haired teen starts breathing heavier, his energy leaving him quickly. His yami continues staring at him showing no signs of understanding.

"And this should concern me why? Do you really expect me to break down just because you've had a hard life. You have no idea what hard is. You really are pathetic. Well then if you want to die so bad then do it."

His yami turns and starts to walk off but then stops, only getting a few feet.

"Why?" 5

"What?"

"Why now?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Why not?"

"Fine. Like I said before I'm doing as you wish."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. You wish for my death."

"Are you saying you do not wish for death?"

"I can not say."

"Don't try me. I know you wish for it."

"How would you know?"

"I know you. I know the _true_ you."

"Oh you do? Then enlighten me. What is the true me like"

"Dark. Resentful. Rage. You seek revenge as well as your love."

"My love. You say it as if you know who."

"I may."

"How do you know that is the true me?"

"You are me. We are the same. We feel the same. Light no longer exists. Just darkness."

The former light steps toward the other as arms twine themselves around the neck, lips meet in a dark yet passionate kiss. The 'yami' pulls back then presses his lips to the others ear.

"You are not light. You are darkness. You are the same as me. Forever."

"Forever."

_**---OWARI---**_

1 Onii-san- Older Brother in Japanese…I think.

2 Oka-san- Mother in Japanese…just don't quote me on it.

3 Otou-san- Father

4 Imoto-chan- Little Sister

5 The 'Yami' is talking

A/N: Okay this fic was a real pain. First of all I ended up redoing the ending twice making this the third (and my favorite) ending. Plus right when I was almost done with changes I made editing and changing it the third time the program I was using suddenly shut down and lucky me I hadn't saved in a while! So I had to remember the changes I made and…GAHH! I was sooooooo mad! It was not fair!!!!! Anyway I'm rambling so please review and don't let my work and frustration be in vain! claps hand together and bows Please!?!

P.S. I bet _no one_ can who the star of this fic were! Tell me the pairing and you'll recieve a box of the finest chocolate and plushies of the pairing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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